I am so thankful that I'm not religious

Today I encountered God in a coffee shop.

Maybe it was watching all the silly flies trying to escape from the shop as they continually flew into the window thinking that they were going to escape to the beautiful, sunny outdoors. God created those brainless bugs for a reason. The flies reminded me that we, humans, are just like those flies when it comes to the decisions we make. We are so stupid and we need our Creator, Sustainer of the Universe, and Heavenly Father, to point us to the "way out" of whatever sin we are stuck in, decision we have to make, or trial that we are going through.
Sorry, flies, for not having the ability to show you the way out. I would look very ridiculous trying to wave bugs out in this coffee shop.

On a more serious note of experiencing God in a coffee shop, I was reminded today of how God delights in me and wants me to delight in Him. I'm so thankful that I am not religious. I am so glad that what I believe in doesn't demand of me to bow down 5 times a day in prayer or attend an awfully boring service. God loves that I am in a coffee shop right now enjoying time in His word and thinking about how He delights in me enjoying His creation.

The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will sing over you with gladness. He will quiet you with His love. He will delight in you with shouts of joy. Zephaniah 3:17

Thank you, God, for creating coffee for me to enjoy. Thank you for music and that I have a laptop to enjoy. Thank you for the pestering bugs that just want to delight in the outdoors. Thank you for creating me :)

Chill Time

If you know me, you know that I am always "on the go". I always have to find something "to do" and can't just sit around watching TV or "wasting time". Well, since I had my surgery on May 11, I have done hardly anything at all since May 11. It's been almost 2 weeks since my surgery. I have been "out" one night to Evan's house, but other than that and the doctor, I have been couped up inside my room.

It really stinks because I feel like I'm wasting time if I just sit in my room all day. But, it's good to relax and have time alone. This is what I have wanted all school year! I am trying to enjoy it. I ordered a ukulele today so hopefully I'll pick that up. :-) I also have canvases to paint. And plenty of thinking to do too. And Jesus. I don't know what I'd be thinking without Him.

God is definitely trying to show me something through all this. I just need to take a chill pill and realize he's God and he's in control. I'm not in control and need to find peace and comfort in that.

A Change of Plans

Just an update of my life:

Many already know, but exactly a week ago, I broke my ankle. My friends and I went to the beach one night to watch the sunrise (which was beautiful) but not worth the consequences. I saw a shark and decided to jump in the water to wrestle it... well it wasn't the smartest decision I've ever made.

End results: a broken ankle

That meant that my double jaw surgery I have been planning to have for 2 years had to be rescheduled because I was supposed to have it last Tuesday which was 2 days after the broken ankle had happened. The doctor was afraid that a blood clot would form and kill me. Didn't want to take that risk for obvious reasons. Well this is the second time we rescheduled this surgery because I was going to have it last December but the doctor said I wasn't ready.

For the third time, the surgery is scheduled for May right after my last final. I was planning on going to Venezuela this summer on summer project with Student Venture but now I can't go because my jaw surgery will take a good 2 months to completely heal.

As you can imagine my disappointment in all of this from one stupid decision to go to the beach one night impulsively.

What have I learned in all of this:

Jesus loves me more than anyone in this world and I have trusted my life with Him. So if this is His plan for me, then I will rejoice all the more in my sufferings.

He will make me more beautiful through all of his because I will become even more like Him!
 
Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

God's plans are not my plans. His are greater.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

Beauty

 I wrote this last may. I was re reading it. I really just love to think about this...


What is beauty? How do we know what is beautiful in the world? Colors are beautiful. Sunsets are beautiful. People are beautiful. Loving people is beautiful. Love is beautiful. God is love, and God is beauty. It comes back to the whole absolute truth discussion. How can one know what truth is without there being a god? God is absolute truth and the only way we can know this absolute truth is from God and his Word. So, just as we only know absolute truth from our omniscient God, the only way we can know beauty is because of our glorious God who created all things to be beautiful. John Piper said it like this that made a lot more sense to me:
“Suppose that you were standing by the Grand Canyon at sunset with two other people. You become deeply moved and utter the words, "This is beautiful; this is glorious." The person beside you says, "Beautiful? It's just a big, ugly ditch." And the third person says, "I guess I hear what both of you are saying. And I think those are equally valid statements." And it is true that unless there is a higher aesthetic court of appeal than man, those two judgments are equally valid.”

I was reading in Exodus when God came to Moses to give him the old covenant. Moses came back down the mountain to the Israelites and his face was glowing from being in the presence of God. Not even the Israelites could look steady at Moses’ face because he saw a glimpse of the glory and beauty of God. (2 Corinthians 3:7). Well, I read a sermon by John Piper called “Jesus Is Precious Because We Yearn For Beauty”. (For some reason tonight I am fascinated by just the meaning of “beauty”.) John Piper got me thinking about the glory and beauty that Moses and the Israelites had witnessed because of God giving them the Old Covenant. The Old Covenant was glorious to the Israelites for it was their way to experience and know God through sacrifices and the laws God had given them. But now, God has given us the greatest gift of all: the new covenant! We, as Christians, should be able to experience and know beauty more than ever before! 2 Corinthians 3:8-9 says “will not the ministry of the Spirit be even more glorious? If the ministry that condemns men is glorious (beautiful), how much more glorious (beautiful) is the ministry that brings righteousness!” This new covenant is of God sending his one and only son, Jesus, to die the death that takes away the sins of the world! This covers all the sins I have ever committed and will commit and the sins of you and everyone else that has ever lived and is still to come. God has given us his Spirit so that we may see the beauty of the Lord and have everlasting freedom. God is holding this everlasting and most beautiful gift ever out in front of us. All we have to do is accept it from Him (Ephesians 2:8-9).

God is beauty. Since I am a follower and have accepted his Spirit to live inside of me, I have the amazing and undeserved privilege to experience perfect beauty. I know that I am beautiful because Christ lives inside of me, and I just want to live for Him. Just tonight I made a list of what is beautiful in my life. The list just kept flowing. “Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1.
John Piper says this, “If there is no personal God, then the concept of beauty dissolves into personal idiosyncrasy.” And I believe this whole-heartedly.

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to the end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

God sending Jesus down to earth to die for me has now given me a hope and joy that keeps me living for Him every day. People wonder why I am always smiling, laughing, or enjoying the stupid little things that might mean nothing to anyone else but me. The reason for this is because I find beauty in my Savior, Jesus Christ, and can’t help but be excited about it. :-)

Reasons Why I Love NC State

(Not in any order)

1. Spending my days with Rachel Anne Wharton
2. Using board bucks to get coffee at Port City Java
3. Working out in the gym
4. Eating Taco Bell in Tally
5. Studying with Rachel in the library
6. Taking every class with Rachel
7. Being in the best bible study monday nights
8. Campus Crusade thursday nights
9. Living in walking distance from all my friends
10. Reading my bible whenever I am sitting around
11. Being crazy at night with Rachel in the dorm
12. Having Kerri and Evan to hang out with and knowing they are always there for me
13. A Beautiful campus
14. Playing pranks with Rachel
15. Being in the amazing city of Raleigh, NC
16. Spending fun nights downtown
17. Going to Summit Church sunday mornings
18. Walking to class and seeing people I know
19. NC State football/tailgates
20. Spending sunny warm days outisde
21. Having Tennessee people come visit me (Ben)
22. Driving to the beach
23. Student Venture!!!
24. Parties with Crusade
25. Getting lost in the hill (library)
26. Late night cook out runs
27. Going out to dinner with friends
28. Having upperclass men cook for me
29. Doing laundry at home
30. Being blessed by AMAZING friends

New Verse About Love

I get so excited when I find new verses in the bible. I pray that God will show me something new or speak to me in a new way when I am reading.
I didn't know what to read tonight so God really laid 2 Timothy on my heart and I ended up reading 2 Timothy 4.
The apostle Paul, as most of you know, was persecuted and went through more trials and struggles than we will ever have to deal with in our lives. In the last chapter he says that many of the men with him deserted him or left to go to different places because they loved the "present world". And then in verse 16 Paul says, "At my first defense, no one came to my assistance, but everyone deserted me. May it not be counted against them. But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me...".

I think that is SO encouraging and convicting because, even though those men left Paul alone even while he went/had gone through so much persecution and so many struggles that could make Paul want to give up too, he says he does not want anything to be counted against them! Think of how much love that had to take for Paul to truly say that and think that in his heart. I would have been so bitter, angry and grouchy towards those men and about my life. But Paul knows that the Lord will always stand by him and he still wants to love those men anyways because that's Christ's love for us, even when we abandon Christ.

It opened my eyes to more love and a different angle on it from Paul and his heart for Jesus.